emp-athy

after a major (and we're talking window rattling, cat scaring mother humper of a big honkin' storm-o-doom here) electrical storm blasted over my town yesterday afternoon, I came home from work to find my shiny new modem blinking feebly at me - the IT equivalent of 'the dilithium crystals cannae take it, Cap'n!'

so, ideal opportunity for another VS/writing related topic - what to do when you get cut off from the outside world. this kind of ties in to yesterday's post about delays, and it's more about what practical things you can do when you find yourself in the middle of an unexpected communications blackout.

first off, don't panic! sound advice, and you don't even need a towel to remind you of it. at most, in this day and age, you'll be cut off for a few days, and even if it's a more serious problem or situation (moving house, going away, not paying bills, frazzled modem/computer), then you'll find there are plenty of ways to keep in touch with your crew and adoring public. Internet cafes, libraries - heck, even work, if you're lucky enough to have an office where you can get away with it! If you know a few of your team personally, send them a text or give them a call, explain the situation and get them to pass messages on for you.

have some kind of support network in place, too. If you maintain a website and will miss updates during your downtime, then try to have at least one other person who can access the site, update it and upload any relevant files to keep things ticking over. You can usually do this when you first set the thing up (something we'll no doubt cover later on), so don't be afraid to leave the keys to the kingdom with another trusted colleague if it means things still run on time without you.

at the end of the day, all you can do is exercise some patience until you get yourself back online. there are still plenty of things you can do with your time until then, like plotting, storyboarding, video editing, music editing, web page design - all the things you start out full of good intentions to work on but always end up surfing aimlessly for hours at a time instead. downtime can be productive, so don't wail and gnash your teeth when your modem lights go out - do something to stop you going crazy in the meantime!

how many... before when?!?

It all seemed like such a good idea at the time - set up three different VS ideas as screenplays, and air them on sister network BVC (set up by my good friend Tony Black), both as a show of support and also a dry run for the ideas themselves.

Thing is, after committing myself to have one movie a month ready throughout June, July and August, I kind of forgot that I'm on holiday slap bang in the middle of June. Right when the first movie is due. Oh, and that with the massively-delayed third season of Faith yet to finish, the last few episodes of that are also due while I'm away.

Arg.

However! This leads me into today's lesson, something I feel is an invaluable aspect of life for any aspiring VS writer: how to handle delays.

You see, at this stage of your writing career, you won't be getting paid. You'll be writing in your spare time, at evenings and weekends, fitting in your work around your day job, and also trying to remember to go out and have a social life in the meantime, because, you know, we all need to go out and meet people. Otherwise we go a bit crazy. So what do you do when you quite simply do not have enough hours in the day to do what needs to be done? Simple. Be flexible.

The more professionally-run VS out there tend to mimic the scheduling of a real TV show as closely as possible, with a three to six month period of downtime between seasons to work on production and planning, then three to six months to actually air the episodes, usually one a week with breaks to allow for extra production time and things like that. Real world TV shows have plenty of little gaps between episodes so production work on the season can be completed, and VS are no different.

There are days when you'll sit down to write and just find yourself staring at a blank screen, the cursor on Final Draft (or Sophocles, or whatever) blinking malignantly at you, mocking your inability to conjure up a single word. Not even that 'INT.' that we all start with. You glance at the calendar. You've got tonight to get this episode ready, and after that it's officially late. So what do you do? Force yourself to write? Struggle through the next fifty pages, no matter what quality, just to get the show published on its due date?

Of course not. Take extra time. Push your schedule back a week. Two if you have to. Allow yourself time to work on the show to the standard you're accustomed to, instead of rushing and releasing something below par just for the sake of it. One of the worst things any writer can do is force themselves to write when the vibe just isn't there, and encroaching deadlines will be the cause of this pressure nine times out of ten. On one hand, you have a responsibility to your readers to maintain some degree of professionalism and not just let your show grind to a halt because you don't feel like writing that week, but on the other, there are many unqiue advantages that a VS offers which can make your life easier.

If you miss a deadline in TV Land, then you're screwed. The show will be late, and may even get taken off altogether so the network can air a repeat or alternate program in its place, and you will very likely not be asked to write again. In a VS, you're your own boss, and as such can shuffle scheduling to suit the constantly-changing situations of the world around you. Also, TV viewers tune in at the same time each week expecting to see their show, and the episode has to be ready and waiting before they even reach for the remote. VS readers tend to catch up on shows in batches of a few episodes at a time, maybe even catching up on a show they've only recently gotten into, and so there's less pressure on you, the harassed showrunner, to deliver the product exactly on time week in, week out.

If you have staff working on future episodes, maybe you can air a double bill down the line to catch yourself back up. Maybe you could even put the show on hiatus for a month, write a few episodes to maintain a buffer against future unexpected delays, and then return with the confidence that when (and it will be 'when,' not 'if') something else happens, you've already got a few episodes in the bag, ready to wheel out as needed.

Your staff are subject to the same pressures as you, don't forget. They may suddenly lose their ability to get online (tantamount to a full on communications blackout in this business), be in the middle of moving house, have to put things on hold while they plan a wedding, be on holiday, fall ill or (God forbid) be in an accident. Or they could just be lazy, in which case you fire their arse and get someone more reliable. Any way you look at it, you need to be prepared to allow for situations that you and your staff have no control over, and accept that real life comes before the virtual series world. When you're earning money for writing, then the job comes first. Until then, remember to give yourself time to be a human being before some script-spewing automaton.

The end result should be a VS that isn't afraid to tweak its schedule to cope with delays, and headaches that you won't be having as a result of trying to be in two places at once. Delays can be your friend. Use them wisely.

he's back!

control yourselves, gentle readers. yes, after a long (and sadly work-related) break, ZPM is back. but what lies in store for this ol' blog now we're in the year 2-0-0-7 then?

for one thing, not just reviews. oh no. I mean, I'm going to start by putting down a load of reviews I did for BVC stuff, admittedly, but as well as that I'm going to be keeping up with other writers' blogs (you know, those professional ones by people who actually get paid for what they do), and also chronicle my own attempts to break into the screenwriting world at large.

so! onward and upward. and things like that.

Homoestasis 1x04 'Roadhouse Traveller'

by Michael Jay & Matt Bartlett

Quint's car breaks down in a two-pump town where three owners of a bar believe him to be a fairy-tale monster.

Episode four of Homeostasis rolls around, then, with the show stabilising its mix of plot development, surreal and metaphor-heavy situations and a dollop of double meaning nicely after the extended opening episode. Last week's effort was much darker in tone but kept things rolling, so with the trusted hand of Mike Jay steering this one I'm expecting another solid outing for the show.

We open with a road-weary Quint trying to keep his blurry eyes on the road, almost falling foul of a deer prancing innocently across the road (I don't think they're innocent at all, for the record - I think they do it on purpose). Quint checks his map - and this time, pow! There's Deer #2. Quint's airbag goes off in his face and his car skids out of control, crashing into a tree trunk in a scene reminscenet of The Long Kiss Goodnight. Forced to leave the wrecked car and mortally wounded deer behind, he stumbles up onto the Interstate again but there's no-one in sight. Back at the car, he tries (badly) to finish the dying deer off before getting back onto the road, this time managing to hitch a lift from a passing trucker. Quint gets dropped off in the nearest town, staggering into the bar and making a request - COFFEE, GORDON COLE STYLE. O-RE-GON!

Act I opens with a creepy house out in the fields, with equally creepy chanting voices reciting some twisted nursery rhyme as we venture inside. The archaic contents of the house give way to three young brothers in the front room, the youngest watching as the older two continue to chant the rhyme. The boys' grandmother wanders in and starts to tell the boys a story, a moral tale about good and evil that starts with three ne'er do well brothers wreaking havoc in their town. The eldest tries to stop the most evil of the three from doing any more damage, but apparently gets the life sucked straight out of his body for his troubles! Ew. Seems the mudhole the boys used to play in was home to some kind of evil force that had taken Kurt over and made him do all those bad things ("honest, officer! the mud made me do it!"). Kurt begged for forgiveness and the spirit of a white deer (starting to catch up yet?) appeared, curing the eldest brother and making the boys promise never to play near the evil mud (narf) ever again. The eldest of the grandkids doesn't buy the story for a minute (and a bloody long chunk of dialogue it was too - could've done with being broken up a little), but the boys promise to always be good before rushing off outside (once Max, the youngest, has been cooed back to normal by Grandma). There's a fair few typos and grammatical bugs in this bit, unfortunately - could've done with a bit more work in the final edit to tidy it up. Flash forward fifteen years and we're now in the present day, where Max and his brother Mark are running a roadside cafe. We hear Quint wander in and make his coffee request, before a grumpy Max stomps outside to pout his way through a cigarette - the direction indicating he clearly feels his life is fading away stuck in this dead-end town. Mark scolds Max for smoking, mentioning how their deceased Grandma would dissaprove (and how she got 'sick,' ominously), before Max introduces himself to Quint and offers him a place to get set up for the night. Eldest brother Matt arrives, and despite not being too happy that Quint is crashing there it's Max who shows Quint his room. Max makes another 'I coulda been a contender' comment, mentioning the 'evil' in the town he wants to get away from, before leaving an increasingly bemused Quint to his rest. Later, the boys are heading home, Max's attempts to daydream interrupted by his grouchy brothers. They arrive at the house we saw them in earlier, which is spookily just how it was fifteen years ago. The boys go through an almost ritualistic set of chores to close the house down before retiring to bed. Just what is going on here?

Back at chez Peete with Grandma slowly succumbing to the illness that the boys mentioned earlier, although her delerious rants thatthe evil mud is sucking her life away doesn't get much sympathy from Max, once again. With a neat little cutaway we flash forward a few more years, with everything still pretty much as it was - the boys caring for their sick grandmother. Grandma's sedatives finally kick in as she blames the boys for her illness, then pleads with them to save her. Back with Quint as Matt wakes him up and takes him back out to rescue his stricken Nissan, but when they find it, the dead deer on the bonnet has not left a pleasant smell behind at all! Matt asks what happened to the deer, and after stumbling through a story where he witnessed animal control shooting a stricken deer from his childhood, he explains he finished the animal off. Matt, however, knows there's more to this story, and as the links back to the deer Grandma Peete was talking about start to rack up, a quick cut to show Max and Mark going through Quint's things brings us back to Quint and Matt as they return to town. Matt seems distracted and angry, which makes Quint all the more nervous, before Matt pulls into an auto shop to get the Nissan rescued. There's more music playing in the background as the reach the hickiest repair shop in town (what is it with all the music cues this week?), but once Matt's left the auto shop manager gets more talkative, asking what Quint's doing getting mixed up with them and mentioning the 'strange things' the boys' grandmother used to talk about. Quint isn't sure what to make of it and takes his leave, but Matt's been watching the whole exchange - and he doesn't look pleased!

Back at the Grandma's house again, the boys looking shocked as she's just imparted some grave secret or other to them (I must add here that the flashbacks are a little hard to keep up with - in an already disorientating show like this, you need to give the audience some help when you're hopping back and forth in time, otherwise you just get even more lost). The local medic, Dr. Forrest, arrives at the door with Grandma's pills, and as Mark meets him it seems the boys haven't been picking it up for a while! Forrest pushes his way inside but gets a hammer/candlestick to the head (I have to say both because the direction gets a little fuzzy here) for his troubles. Mark starts to beat the bejaysus out of the poor doc, reminding the watching Matt that the doc will kill Grandma if they don't stop him. Forrest manages to make it outside, but the two boys follow him outside, and with one slice of a shovel Matt ends the doctor's role in proceedings. Yikes. So, clearly, there's a whole heckuva lot going on here that Quint's mixed up in (again), so let's hope we start getting some answers soon! A final flash forward takes us to Grandma's death, as the three boys look on in silence. Back at the bar, the three boys discuss what to do, clearly feeling that Quint's murder of the deer classifies him as more of the 'evil' they've fought their whole lives - is a shovel to the skull in Quint's future? Seems the brothers have killed a few people before, victims 'sent' to them by the 'protector,' and they plot to kill Quint that night when he gets back from the garage. Quint meets Mark, who apologises (forward planning there) before letting Quint enter the bar - and whack! There's the shovel. Mark drags him away as we fade out...

Act IV has a Quint-flashback, as he rifles through old boxes of stuff in his home at the age of thirteen. His mother, Gwen, joins him, but when Quint asks why there are so many clippings about the Sente family, saying he read a story about a mother who killed herself and her baby. Gwen ominously says it was the best thing for them, before we jump back to the present, as Quint comes round. He's in the basement as Matt descends the staircase, baseball bat in hand, and Quint can barely defend himself from the frenzied attack that follows. Matt screams at Quint, demanding to know why 'he' keeps coming back, why he sent their Grandma mad, getting his hands round Quint's throat and throttling the life out of him! Mark pulls Matt away and saves the day - or does he? See, Mark's got some rope and wants to do this the quiet way, letting Matt slug Quint out cold before tying him up. Up in the bathroom, Mark is filling a tub with some heavy duty bleach as Max searches the shed for some kind of tool. This is all going a bit Children Of The Corn, isn't it? A storm is kicking up as Max trudges back to the house, where Quint comes to in the basement again. Matt reminds Quint of what happened the first time he came round (as Dr. Forrest can relate), and it's clear now the boys think Quint is the latest incarnation of the evil spirits their Grandma warned them about. Max is still heading back to the bar as a tornado touches down behind him, closing in fast! Mark returns with a damp rag dipped in homemade choloroform, but before he can put Quint out the tornado hits home, shattering the windows in the basement, and in the confusion Quint manages to free himself, stabbing Mark in the arm on his way out. However, with the tornado outside Quint has to seek shelter inside the house, and the two brothers below are soon on his trail. Quint's suddenly running for the bar instead (what happened to hiding under the table, then?), but no sooner has he found his belongings than Max has tripped him up. Max is pinned by debris, however, a victim of the tornado's attack, and Quint leaves him to his fate. Or does he? He sees Mark and Matt trying to free their brother - and comes back to help. They dig Max out, but he's a goner, and the brothers watch as Quint finishes him off as humanely as possible. We dissolve to the last gas station in town as Quint asks for a lift again - and this time, he's heading back to Springfield!

So. A great story, very self-contained in terms of the larger story arc of the show as it focuses almost entirely on the tale of the boys and their struggle against the 'evil,' rather than Quint's own personal journey, but hampered by some very messy pacing, structure and direction that sabotages what had the makings of an excellent episode. The single-minded resolve of the boys to always try to do what's right, even if it means committing acts of great evil, is reminiscent of the brilliantly amoral horror movie Frailty, but as this doesn't really kick in until the last Act, the effect is lost. The flashbacks to Grandma really clutter up and slow down the story - very little happens to further the plot in 75% of them, so why do we keep jumping back to them? And I know it's a niggle rather than a complaint, but giving all three brothers such similar names means it's easy to get mixed up over who's doing what to who in the action. Presentation wise, this is also a little clunky compared to the tight formatting of previous episodes - this needed a more thorough final edit to even out the action and keep the pacing in check. That said, the final Act is genuinely great, amping up the tension as Quint tries to escape the zealous brothers, but despite Quint's act of euthanasia at the climax, the whole story feels very anti-climactic because of that. The implication is obviously that Quint's actions made the brothers see he wasn't evil, but we don't really get any sense of closure over the situation as no sooner has that happened, than we're at the gas station and Quint is off again. So overall, the potential for a cracking episode but let down by some uncharacteristically wonky writing and some glaring continuity holes.

Afterlife 1x11 'Hope'

by Jon Nyqvist

The dark army sweeps across the lands of the Afterlife. As the final conflict is upon them, Aurora begins succumb to her mysterious illness!

So! The finale to the wonderful Afterlife, then. Basically comprising of the last two planned episodes shoved together, I'm going to keep this intro short because I want to see if the show can maintain the unfeasibly good standards it's kept for the last few episodes...

Opening with one of those dramatic, cinematic shots that make this show so damn visual, we have Jon and Aurora stumbling away from a literal tide of dark beasties, as the skies turn black overhead and pour down with rain as thick as tar. Eep! As a doom-laden voiceover takes us into a sunlit field, we get a look at Jonathan's tombstone. Er... what? Oh dear. We pull back to find it's his sister Jenny, leaving some flowers at his grave. Aah. Present day. Jenny steps back - and there's Lynn! You remember her - she's the one who taught Aurora how to be such a stone cold badass. And she tells Jenny she has a lot to discuss with her...

Back with Jon and Aurora as they stop for a breather, sharing a rare moment of light relief given the situation. Aurora has a sudden attack of the Darkness, hearing the voice of Pain, the creature she's struggling not to become, ordering her to attack Jon. He's helpless to do anything as she stumbles, very nearly impaling Jon to the nearest tree before her energy thankfully runs out. Talk about your no-win situations! The storm rages on as we move back to Darkwood, the town boarded up against the incoming army. In the inn (narf), Kate and Lianna face the Darkness with no clue as to how to stop it, or even defend themselves. They need a hero! But that can wait. We're in the Real World as Jenny and Lynn talk, set up through a great little dissolve shot from the dark skies to a glass of Pepsi. I know I keep banging on about it, but some of the shots in this series really are inspired. Jenny obviously has something on Lynn in that she saw her take somebody out, but Lynn doesn't seem like she's about to silence Jenny - in fact, it looks like she has plans for her. Capital 'p.' Back with Jon and Aurora, and some heartfelt dialogue leads to Aurora implying that Jon needs to kill her before she turns to the dark side completely. Jon won't do it, of course, lowering his sword and bringing her close for a hug... and Aurora gets an arrow in the back! She slumps to the floor as Betrayal lowers her crossbow, Murder and the army behind her. She fires again, but Jon classily slices the bolt in two, putting his sword halfway through Betrayal's chest before scooping up Aurora and making a run for it. Murder starts after him, but Betrayal has other plans, conjuring up a vortex of the black rain and infusing it with power, as we rejoin Jon scurrying along a cliffisde. He sees his rope (this is where he took out the beastie last week) and starts to climb - but Betrayal's wall of evil water (if there is such a thing) is right behind him, chasing him as he desperately scales the rocks, Aurora on his back...

Back with Jenny and Lynn, as Lynn drives the captive Jenny somewhere and idly mentions there might be torture in her future. Lynn's car arrives at Bridge Manor, where Jenny is unceremoniously dumped into a small, dark room and left locked up, and as she cries to be let out we return to Darkwood. Kate has the villagers gathered inside the Inn, but the rising tensions get a welcome distraction as Jon bursts in, the dead Aurora in his arms. We sweep into a dream as Jon is met by Diana, who tells him he can't save everyone - no matter how much he wants to. Then, however, she tells him that while Darkness is set to sweep over the world, Jonathan is the one element that disrupts its unity - he's Chaos to its Order. This seems to make sense to Jon, who wakes up to find himself resting in a room at the Inn, little Nera watching over him. Nera asks what happened to Aurora, and as Jon comes close to saying he loved her, a hurt Kate hears him talking about her before she steps in. Line Of The Week contender:

JONATHAN
I'd say it's good to be alive, but
the jury's still out on that one.
(beat, serious)
Listen Kate, we need to get
everyone out of here as soon as
possible. There's an army on the
way.

KATE
I was afraid you'd say that. How
many?

JONATHAN
I lost count around "holy crap!"

Nooch. Jon and Kate head downstairs to start assembling the villagers into some kind of defence force, but in the room where Aurora's body has been left, she suddenly rises... This is not good. Aurora's eyes open and the Darkness now covers her whole body - Pain has been born!

Back with Jenny as a mysterious voice tells her he has plans in store for her - which understandably freaks her out a fair bit - before we cut back to see Lynn and the Shadow Man watching her from a monitor elsewhere in the manor. Seems that the Shadow Man and Lynn have been working together, getting people like Jenny to use for their own ends - and rather nastily taking advantage of Jenny's claustrophobia to break her spirit. But there's a shocker to come - as the Shadow Man smacks Lynn for daring to speak up to her, reminding her that she's been his bitch for the last twenty-six years and not the other way round, he reveals one of the show's biggest revelations - Aurora was Lynn's daughter! She never know until this very moment, so Lynn was responsible for both training and betraying her own child without even realising. Boom! A cut back to Darkwood Inn has Jon getting the townsfolk's attention, and a call for some options on how to fight back has Lianna suggesting the Scarlet Knights, a fearsome order of holy warriors. How does she know so much? She used to be one of them! Seems she had to leave when she became pregnant, but the threat of the incoming Darkness should be enough to get them to pitch in and help. However, the party is about to get crashed as Pain strolls casually down the stairs, throwing out a few choice insults before throttling Kate! Jon gets in with a well-placed head butt, the two getting into a knock-down brawl which doesn't seem to be hurting her all that much (she is the embodiment of Pain, after all), before Kate appears with a torch, reminding her that she's now splashed with alcohol. Nooch. Pain decides to bug out and leave the villagers to it, and despite Kate's pleas Jon is straight out after Pain - and this time he knows he has to end it. A quick cut back to Lynn shows her letting out her frustrations on her apartment, smashing the place up before accessing her Men In Black style cache of hidden guns. Girl wants some payback! At Darkwood, Lianna is heading a caravan of people to go and request help from the Scarlet Knights, with Kate casting a longing look after the departed Jonathan as they get moving. Murder is griping that Betrayal is wasting valuable conquering time hunting down the denizens of Darkwood, but when Pain appears and asks to join the gang the detour suddenly seems worthwhile. Murder doesn't seem too fussed about the involvement of the Scarlet Knights, but as the evil trio move on, they're unaware that Jonathan is stalking them from the shadows...

A brilliantly noirish shot of Lynn knocking back a stiff drink and letting the glass fall segues into the caravan from Darkwood splashing onwards, with sombre music accompanying the whole montage as we see Murder's forces tearing a hapless village in its path to shreds. Pain almost clocks Jonathan's presence but he's undetected for now, before a push in shot of Jon's eye pulls back to reveal Jenny's (See? These various cuts and shots may be little things, but they're way better to read than a flat 'CUT TO:' at the end of a scene, aren't they?), as she languishes in her room at Bridge Manor. Lianna wakes Kate up to tell her they've arrived at the home of the Scarlet Knights - a castle at the edge of the ocean, with an army assembling itself at the foot of the peninsula. Lianna says they call this place the Field Of Truth before hiding at the back of the wagon train, as we head into the Knights' camp to find them making ready to tackle the Army of Darkness head on. Their leader, William, appears to have some kind of precognitive ability as he's told of the caravan's arrival, waving past Kate and searching out Lianna. They have History, don't you know. Nudge, nudge. William seems fine with letting the villagers join the party, and as he heads off to 'catch up' (hem hem) with Lianna, we find Jon watching the Army up ahead as Diana joins him. Jon grimly knows he has to kill Aurora, but Diana cryptically hints (is there any other way?) that there might be another option... William and Lianna, meanwhile, clear up a few things - they haven't seen each other for seventeen years, and Nera just so happens to be William's kid! He avoided a witchcraft trial for his second sight when he saved somebody's life, and is now the undisputed leader of the pack. The cosy moment is spoilt as a horn sounds - it's game time! The Scarlet Knights bravely get into formation as the Dark Army erupts from the woods, with Lianna sending Nera back to the castle with anyone else unable to fight. William has a few more tricks - his alchemists have modified their oils to produce brighter, stronger flames against the black rain, so the chief weapon against the Darkness is back on their side. As Kate says - cool.

Another shot of the heartbroken Lynn mourning the daughter she never knew she had leads us into the Field of Truth, as Jon watches the two armies moving into position from the vantage point of a huge ruined temple. The dark beasties surge forward as Betrayal powers up for another magical attack and Pain senses Jon again, before William lets his archers fire at will at the advancing creatures. The flaming arrows do their job but Murder isn't slowing down yet, and as the army pushes on we rejoin Jon - as Pain steps into frame to join him. Their fight begins, with the temple crumbling to bits around them, but Pain's clearly in charge here - even her own pain gets her off, as she puts it, and Jon's getting thrown around as we return to Bridge Manor. Lynn arrives in her sedan, heading through the front gates as we find Jenny about to face the very same torturer she looked in on way back in episode three. The torturer is just about to start cutting when Lynn blasts her way in, even getting space to fire off a wisecrack before her bullet. Like mother, like daughter, eh? Lynn frees the disbelieving Jenny as we get back to the battle in the Afterlife. The Scarlet Knights all ignite their weapons as one, charging to meet the beasties head on. Kate gets an arrow into Murder's back, but that doesn't even slow him down as William shows why he's the boss. He takes out one beast and gets his trebuchets ready to blat a huge Dark T-Rex lumbering into the fray. Pain is still kicking Jon around, but he takes a page from the Xander Harris book of 'How To Beat Unstoppable Evil That You Also Happen To Love,' appealing to Aurora to fight it and managing to get through to her as William's mortars fire in the background. Emotional resonance and rocket launchers, as Joss Whedon would say. The sounds cut out to be replaced by music, as a quick insert of Lynn mowing down the guards at the manor returns us to the battle, as a horrified Lianna sees Betrayal sending torrents of dark water down on the Scarlet army. Jon and Aurora, meanwhile, are actually getting busy if you can believe it, their make out session intensifying as a blaze of brilliant light gets the battlefield's attention. At the manor, Lynn gets Jenny into her car but takes a shot in the chest, courtesy of Shadow Man. Jenny manages to complete the escape, to Shadow Man's obvious frustration, while back in the battle it seems Aurora is her old self again - but now Betrayal wants a piece! Murder is about to kill our Kate when she sticks an arrow in his leg, buying time to escape while Betrayal puts the smackdown on Jon and Aurora. She's too tough for them to handle, but as Betrayal mocks Aurora and prepares to blast her out of the world for good, Jon dives in and takes the shot himself, getting thrown off the temple and into the ocean a hundred feet below... Aurora charges in to attack, but this time she has the light on her side. Literally. A blaze of light weakens Betrayal long enough for Aurora to get in close, whisper her forgiveness - and snap her neck! It's Rachel whose body hits the deck, and with its master gone the dark skies overhead quickly start to clear as well. Sunlight pours onto the battlefield and the Dark Army is routed - saving Kate's bacon in the process - but Aurora cries her heart out for the first time in years as there's no sign of Jonathan! Jenney tries to help the dying Lynn, but there's no saving her this time. She tells Jenny everything is connected again before she dies, and as Jonathan gets a thank you from Diana and wakes up (despite being a long way down in the water), Aurora realises something else has happened - she's pregnant!

Wow. Now that is how you end a series, ladies and gentlemen. None of this Lost style multiple cliffhanger malarkey, no sir. A few deaths, a whole lot of Lord Of The Rings-tastic fantasy battle action, some mano a mano smackdowns you've been itching to see and a final twist to really bring the whole thing to a tasty conclusion. There's a bit of closure in Lynn's story, what with her death and finding out Aurora was her daughter, though Jenny does get left at a bit of a loose end after her escape from the Shadow Man's clutches. Aurora gets her redemption and her payback on Rachel, Jon helps save the world and gets his girl, Kate gets to kick some ass and even the Scarlet Knights work. A lot of effort goes into fleshing them out so they're not just some deus ex machina thrown in at the last minute. All is good. There's so much going on in this that it's hard to pick much more out, so I'm just going to head straight to the final words. Freakin' sweet.

Guardians: Outlook 1x10 'Blind Faith'

by George Willson

On a planet where people will burn their eyes out for their god, Ruben looks for a chance to regain something of the life he lost.

With the show running a little behind schedule, it's time to get caught up with a review of episode ten, which looks set to provide a little background on Ruben, the stoic security chief who is in need of some more development after the teasing hints at some past family tragedy in 1x03.

We open on the crew watching some kind of ceremony on an alien world. Engel is busy running his translator while Ruben grumbles about the disadvantageous tactical position they're in (which is his job, when you think about it). The team are unaware that they're about to watch a ritual sacrifice, however, and they're horrified to see the man willingly burn his eyes right out of their sockets! Yick.

After the ceremony, Engel converses with the priest to learn more, as an anxious Aya gets her next shot from Ruben - seems she's still recovering from the events of 'AA' and is being weaned off the poisoned water she got hooked on. And yes, James, I get the Monty Python reference. With James a little concerned that any one of them could easily fall foul of the laws of this planet and suffer a similar fate, they find Ruben spaced out and staring at the temple - with a little audio flashback to boot. Later on, Engel is still learning about the ritual, but there a lot of gaps in the sampler's translation of what the priest tells him. And that'd be the Dramatic Irony alarm ringing in the background, then! James notices there's a lack of any blind people in the community, before the team split up to nose around. Ruben seems to be acting a little strangely, and we finally get a god's honest flashback, heading ten years back in time to Brazil. And, my word, he looks happy as he sits in a church service with his wife and kids. But what's this? A saucy Latino chick giving him the eye - and flashes to Ruben being a naughty boy indeed! Back on the alien world, and Ruben re-enters the main temple, offering himself up to be 'cleansed,' as the priest put it - could this be the end of the chief's 20/20 vision?

As Engel asks to get his apparently faulty sampler checked out, we get another Ruben flashback, this time six months ago in New York as Stansen comes to see him. Ruben looks pretty washed up - a parallel to the state James was in before he was brought into the program - with Stansen mentioning Ruben's dismissal from the UN's employ and an apparent blacklisting he's suffering from, offering him a second chance to redeem himself. Then, we get the juicy bit - remember that chick Ruben was seen canoodling with earlier? She just happened to be Carmen Diaz, Brazil's ambassador to the UN, and Ruben was her bodyguard. D'oh! He was kicked out as sexual misconduct charges were raised - and as his wife finds out, she tearfully tells Ruben she's leaving and taking the kids with her. We then see Ruben's official dismissal before jumping back a week (you keeping up with this?) to see Ruben first getting the job as Ms Diaz's bodyguard. He's surprised to see her, letting us know he was a cop and she a city official, so they've known each other for a while. We're finally back in the alien temple, with Ruben still struggling to get his head round what he did to himself - he still can't seem to get over it costing him his family. Ruben calls James and Aya back to the temple, where a newfound sense of peace seems to have come over him. He tells the shocked duo that he's going to stay here and take the test of faith - and if he loses his sight, then so be it!

On the Lander, Lak calls back down with the solution to the malfunctioning sampler - it just needs rebooting. Yes, it's more Microsoft jibes, but they work here with the technofriendly Lak baby-stepping the technofearful Engel through getting the unit working again. Outside, Aya is trying to spur James into action, but he's the kind of man who's always respectful of another's wishes, even if it means leaving a crewman to potentially burn his own eyes out! With Aya needing her medicine and growing increasingly agitated, James tasks Engel to talking to the priest again as they go in search of Ruben. Engel is led into a mine where blinded workers dig valuable, energy-providing stones from the wall - and it's only those who have been 'cleansed' that can do this. James confronts Ruben but he's not budging, showing an alarmingly clear head given what's in store for him. Ruben seems convinced that the cleansing ritual is the only way he can absolve himself for what he did, and as James tries to manhandle him back Ruben reminds us why he's the security James, knocking James on his arse in no uncertain terms. And just when the situation couldn't get worse - Aya collapses!

James gets Aya back to the Lander and shoots her up with some sedatives to keep her calm (although I'm not sure if Aya's snarkiness is an effect of her withdrawal or some slightly out-of-character writing here), before we rejoin Ruben as he prepares to undergo the cleansing. Another flashback shows us Ruben talking to Carmen, the relationship between the two of them deepening a little - Ruben admits sleeping with her was a mistake, and he's just doing his job now rather than spending time with her because he wants to. However, Carmen isn't the kind of woman you want to turn down, and despite sneaking a crafty snog off him Ruben still isn't playing her game, so she (rather melodramatically, it must be said) fakes an assault on herself and runs off to shop him for it. And I must knock some points off for the groan-worthy line of direction that reads: 'She stands so close her breasts are touching his chest.' Yuck! Anyway. Engel manages to arrive at the ceremony just in time, explaining to Ruben that the cleansing is for people who break the law - not a test of faith, as he's been led to believe! Ruben sheepishly steps down, realising his mistake at last, and hands James the medicine Aya needs. Back on the Lunar Base, Ruben is getting chewed out by Stansen, but he manages to leave the office with his job intact. This time. Outside, he apologises to Aya but still doesn't plan on telling her exactly what he wanted to take the ritual for. Ruben retires to his quarters, where there's a touching final shot of his wife back on Earth - holding one of Rubens' paycheques. He's been sending her his cash, to make amends and support his family even though he's not even on the same planet any more. And that's where we leave it.

Not a bad story this week, and an attempt to flesh out Ruben's character in the same way 'AA' gave us some depth on Aya, but unfortunately it doesn't quite click together the way it should have. The mass of flashbacks crammed into Act II really disrupt the flow of the story, and the fact that they jump back and forth through Ruben's past make them a little hard to follow. Lost's approach to character flashbacks may be a well-used device, but it works, and it's a method that should have been applied here. And while Ruben's quest to test his faith (and, you suspect, punish himself for breaking up his family) is a good, strong storyline, his sudden change of attitude is too big a switch, too soon, especially when he almost purposefully endangers Aya by refusing to hand over her medicine. Okay, she wasn't too sick at that point, but she got worse pretty quick so it's a pretty shitty thing for Ruben to have done. Overall, then, a good story that trips up a little through the jumbled flashbacks, despite the backstory we get being pretty intriguing, and Ruben seeming to go from stoic man mountain to brainwashed cult member in a matter of moments.

Homeostasis 1x03 'Shepherd'

by J.J. Estes

A newspaper clipping leads Quint to a mysterious priest who has his own agenda for Quint.

I've been holding off on these until the season got back on air, but now that the last two episodes have aired it's time to revisit the fragmented world of Homeostasis. I make absolutely no claim whatsoever of being intellectual enough to grasp some of the deeper symbolism and subtleties behind this show, but as a lifelong Lynch fan I just dig things that are weird. When we left Quint Burroughs, he'd just... um... done something. Damn. Maybe I should go back and read the last bit of my old review to catch up! Hang on. Right. It's the one with the party, that's it. Okay!

We open with a flashback (or dream - you can never be sure with this show) showing Quint with his mom Gwen and missing brother Curtis, all trying to get through another sermon at their local church. Curtis doesn't seem to have much time for this religion malarkey, but it isn't long before things go a bit weird - first, Death appears and then everyone else in the church disappears! Quint hears a voice talking to him, as though explaining a modern viewpoint on religion to him - echoing Curtis' words to him, maybe? - before we rejoin Quint in a trashy motel room. There's static on the TV (a common Lynchian device, trivia fans), and we almost get a visit from someone via the TV screen before Quint wakes up for good. His notes feature a clipping that shows Curtis helping to rebuild a local church - our next stop on the path is set.

Quint encounters a gabby clerk at the motel as he pays his bill, and there's another moment of someone in a service position spouting some cryptic dialogue to our hero - it's a theme that's already popped up a lot in the first two episodes, and leads me to think that this is another device for expressing Quint's actual inner thoughts without having him saying anything himself. I think. Quint arrives at the church and bumps into perky church group member Krista, who directs him towards Father Brewer, the Boss Hog of this operation. Quint shows Brewer the clipping of Curtis, but no luck there. Quint heads to a diner for something to eat - and there's that cigarettes thing again, just before Curtis shows up (sort of) to have a chat with his brother. As they talk, it seems Quint's reliving a past conversation he and his brother had around the time Curtis vanished, although when the waitress addresses Curtis directly you'd be forgiven for getting mixed up. But we know Curtis isn't there - so it's likely she's actually talking to Quint. He just doesn't see it that way. A regular diner patron, Doug, strolls in and pulls up the seat next to Quint, engaging him in a little light conversation before giving Quint an idea - Father Brewer seems to hold a large amount of sway over the people of this town. Maybe Quint can convince him to help?

Quint returns to the church and looks for Brewer, diverted from a suspicious-looking door before he passes Krista, who catches up with him. Quint tells her Curtis was there helping out just a week ago (first indication of how much time has passed we've had for a while, I believe), and when he shows her the clipping she remembers him - and says Brewer should too. So why did he act like he didn't? Krista drags Quint over to Brewer's office, and as she pops in to make sure he's not busy (or is she?), Quint flashes back to watching his mother cook dinner back home. Seems that Curtis skips off quite a lot, especially when church visits are looming, but this time Gwen plans on going to find him herself. Back in the present at the church, Brewer says he can vaguely remember where Curtis said he was going, and if Quint returns for the following evening's sermon he'll have the details ready. Trying to get him to come to the church, eh? Hmm. There's also mention of Curtis' 'situation,' hinting at a bigger reason for why he took off. Krista seems happy that Quint's coming back for the sermon, but personally I can't shake an uneasy feeling about the whole setup as we close the second Act. Is Quint being manipulated to get him back into church, after his brother went to such lengths to put him off the idea?

Quint's getting ready in his motel room when Curtis appears again, and they continue their flashback conversation from the diner earlier. It's like being on Curtis' trail lets Quint see echoes of memories they both have sometimes - his way of keeping the memory fresh? Curtis says that Gwen has only ever had two men - one fathered Quint, the other Curtis - and this goes some way to explaining the fragmented family dynamic that the Burroughs' have, indicating it's why she became religious. There's a very telling exchange:

CURTIS
See, whether he exists or not, he's
an imaginary figure, and imaginary
figures don't leave you unless you
want them to.

QUINT
What if the imaginary's real?

CURTIS
You have to add to it to make it
real.

Hmm. Double meanings are a strength of this series - people tend to talk about one thing whilst referring to something else at the same time, and I think there's a lot to highlight in those few lines. Quint ends the conversation thinking some dark thoughts about his mother - but then snaps back to reality, acting like the flashback just ended differently to how it really happened and seeing confused over why. Warring personalities, maybe? Anyway. Quint arrives at the church and takes a pew at the back with Krista, but as Brewer's sermon runs on he spies the Death-like figure from the Teaser in the church, watching the service. Brewer's dialogue about a shard from one of the shattered stained glass windows again resonates with a twin meaning for Quint's current fractured state of mind, but then the Weird returns as everything around Quint starts to become transparent, and with Brewer's doom-laden sermon rining in his ears Quint stumbles back over to the door he was stopped from entering earlier. With good reason, too - once inside, his fear passes but he makes an alarming discovery - a room full of dead bodies!

Quint is surprised by Brewer, who seems remarkably calm about the bodies and even allows Quint to get away, but as Quint rushes back outside he sees Curtis in his place on the pew, and has another conversation with him. Father Brewer returns, and talk to Quint about people needing a purpose for their existence - and Quint realises that the communion wine everybody's busy downing has been poisoned! Brewer's killing people to send them to the next place, people whose existence in this world no longer has any meaning. Quint walks away, knowing he's not going to find any answers here, and as he sees that Krista has managed to get away too, he steps into his Nissan and drives off. A closing vignette shows Krista leaving town, Brewer taking the communion and joining the members of his 'flock' in the back room, before we return to Quint and see he's bought himself a mini tape recorder.

A pretty dark, heavy-going episode there, then. A lot of attacks on the flaws in organised religion throughout, from how it's used as a smokescreen for people to hide from their real problems behind, to how it can literally take your life away and stop you from being you - although in Brewer's case, this is taken a lot more literally. The flashback conversations with Curtis again add evidence to the split personality theory, although now with people remembering having seen Curtis in the flesh we have evidence to the contrary. It's clear Quint can't tell which memories are his own and which are Curtis' at this point, but there's more hints to suggest that Quint is having to add things to what he's actually experiencing to try and make sense of things. As always with Homeostasis, the dream-like, often contradictory nature of what we see happening is hard to decipher at the best of times, but there's a sense of progress for the first time here, as well as a timeframe established by Quint's mention of Curtis having been in town as recently as a week ago. I'm still some way from knowing what to make of it all, I'll admit, but at least this episode manages to put some actual plot development in amongst all the abstract visuals to keep the interest going.

Between The Walls 2x03 'Stripped'

by Arcadio Reyes

Evelyn finally moves on from her past and sets about changing the way she is... starting with her relationship with Lisa. And when she spots Christian, a chase ensues. Matt finally reveals the nightclub to the family but finds something out about Lisa which could threaten their relationship.

Episode three, then, and this solidly-written drama continues to impress as it rolls on. Lisa's breakdown intensifies, Christian is infuriatngly just out of reach of the struggling Evelyn, and her feud with Della doesn't look like simmering down any time soon. Good stuff. Let's keep things moving, we've got another episode after this one to get through!

Morning again, and with things just as frazzled in both the Hunter and Jones households, the status quo resembles a big old wiggly line of emotions and tensions. However, even though she's amusingly cack-handed at it, seeing Evelyn bustle around and try to sort out resolve her issues with just about everybody makes for some good character moments. In fact, there's lots of good couple-y stuff here - Ally and Matt bounce off each other well, and Nateisha's feisty comments about Della look set to roll on into a big old blaze of indignation pretty soon. And a good comic moment with the onion thing, too. Della's fiery response to Theo's attempt to 'help' contrasts the way the two mothers are dealing with their issues - and that's rapidly becoming a central theme here. However, Della is starting to feel very Betty Applewhite in her 'Mama knows best' attitude here - not helped by the fact that both characters are played by the same actress! Anyway. Marie's picnic manages to show that all it takes is one knock for Evelyn's whole house of cards to come down again, as she spots Christian and runs after him with Marie in hot pursuit, and even with the cab chase he still gets away. He's a spry little monkey, isn't he? Lisa getting caught mid-coke habit by Matt leads to some more good moments between the two of them - the zig-zagging of Lisa's state of mind is absorbing at the moment, but she does need to get some progress on it fairly soon. Seeing Della cut Nateisha down to size promises at more to come, as does Evelyn finally tracking Christian down - and boy, what a moment to walk in on... And now I'm starting to get a tingle in my Spider-Sense about Brian, all of a sudden. Hmm. The conveniently-settled onion thing is one thing, but his dialogue about Connor also seems a little suspect. But maybe I'm just being paranoid. Anyway. As Theo and Della come to a head over the 'Rachelle' thing, there's another Desperate Housewives parallel as the sense of a dark, prison time-worthy secret is dagnled before us. We manage to end on a nice moment as Christian comes home, though. You can almost hear the weepy music as Evelyn grabs him - but what did she get up to with Estovan, eh?

Not a spectacular episode, and with the exception of Christian's return most of the plots are in a holding pattern this week, but there's more stuff set up for later episode with the dark secret of the Jones' and Lisa's attempt to get better - although I personally don't buy that it's that easy for a second. Have to call Reyes on the Applewhite-esque nature of whatever's going on with Theo and Della, though. At least we don't have another relative locked in the basement! So we've got a good little crossover dynamic working now as we switch between the Hunters and the Jones' - the Hunters obviously have more going on, what with the show being about them and all, but there's a growing number of connections between the two families now to keep an eye on.