Pathways 2x11 'Swords & Stockings'

by Richard Gentile

The Brighton Academy drama club prepares to put on their version of Romeo & Juliet, but with Alanna and uber-bitch drama queen Lynn Raynes at each other’s throats, the cast and crew might not make it to opening night.

It's play time in Pathways this week, with the lovely Alanna's troubled production of 'Romeo & Juliet' finally making its Crestview debut. However! With Mark and Logan's tryst being uncovered by head bitch Lynn, I think we're bound to see plenty of behind-the-scenes drama with this one. I'm already visualising an episode where the play itself is just an extended metaphor for events in the real world, but we'll have to see!

Opening on the sixteenth century-styled auditorium, Mark stumbles on as Romeo, tripping over his feet and the lines as he tries to do the infamous balcony scene. The 'this is all a nightmare' alarm is already ringing, even without Mark getting his sword stuck in the ladder on the way up. Juliet draws back her veil - and there's Logan. Slightly concerning image there if you ask me, and as Mark reels back he ends up falling backwards Buster Keaton style, finally jolting himself out of the dream. Oh, Comedy Mark, as I henceforth dub thee. Wilt thou ever learn?

Mark trudges through the school halls as Sam bounces over, camping it up as only he can as he discusses Mark's sort of relationship with Logan. Sam gives Mark an encouraging hug as Lynn walks past, ready to start postering the campus. Thing is, as Alanna points out, those aren't the official posters. Lynn didn't like them - presumably because there wasn't enough of her on them - and despite Alanna's rising blood pressure continues to staple her own posters up as fast as Alanna can tear them down. Over at Anna's office, she and Sarah are discussing plans for their new clinic when Sarah raises a good point - why not ask James? He's a builder, he's been wanting to get involved anyway and would most likely be a heck of a lot cheaper, but Anna is determined not to mix business and pleasure. Sarah wisely doesn't push her luck, but this is one issue that's bound to pop its lid in true drama style some time soon. Over at the theatre, Comedy Mark and Logan have a potentially tender moment broken as a furious Alanna marches in, ranting and raving about Lynn's new advertising drive and grimly resolving to do something about the situation. And this can't end well.

Parker hurries through the crowds to catch back up to Alanna. He's still on the offence and she's running defence, to use an American Football analogy, but Alanna does seem to be warming to him as she tells him all about her Lynn trouble. Parker offers to help, eager to impress her, but Alanna's off to see Mr. Mead instead, leaving him wearing his lost wittle puppy face. Comedy Mark and Logan get their moment at last - when nobody else is around, natch. You can see that Logan's freeze-outs whenever somebody walks in on them is going to cause Mark to wear some serious poutage before too long, but from the evidence we've got here it seems Logan's going to make a good guy friend for him. Eventually. Charlie, meanwhile, is running late when she overhears Kaia and Mr. Swenson having one of their 'special' meetings, but nothing too heavy is going on just yet as Sam arrives to drag Charlie away, Charlie's professional suspicions are buzzing but Kaia's secret is safe for now as we catch up with the final dress rehersal. Things are going smoothly... for about five seconds, and then, yep, you guessed it - Lynn screeches at another actor and starts throwing accusations of conspiracy all round (Carry On movie fans will already be saying 'infamy, infamy! They've all got it in for me!'). Mr. Mead tries to defuse the situation, but Lynn isn't listening - and she quits. A clever ruse to force Alanna to ask her to come back? Leaving the show without its Juliet the night before it opens is doubtlessly a calculated move on her part, so let's see how she handles this one...

Mead drags Alanna and Lynn off to try and sort things out, but all it takes is the threat to make Alanna the show's Juliet to bring Lynn back round. Playing to her ego, Mead saves the day and the show, and we leave the rehersal to return to Chez Jones. Anna makes a bad job of covering a phone call she's making to another contractor as James walks in, and Anna quickly spills the beans. James is losing his temper (with a nod to Parker's constant anger management), revealing that communication and trust issues screwed up his last marriage, and Anna knows she's just pushed the big red button as we return to the theatre - and it's opening night! That was quick - bit of a wonky time lapse there, considering it was still final rehersal a few scenes ago, but there you go.Sam, Gabe, Julie and Charlie are making their way inside, bumping into Mark's mother who tells them of the post-show party before finding her seat. There's one last shocker as the lights go down, however - Dominic shows up with a girl! Say what now? The play is soon underway, allowing us a montage moment as we catch everyone's reactions (and Sam's comic fidgeting), showing Dominic dividing his attention between his date and looking at Gabe, and Parker discovering a soft spot for Shakesperian romance round the back. Lynn gets hit full on by a dodgy spotlight and loses the flow, forcing Alanna to whisper most of the balcony scene's lines to her to keep things moving, but the inevitable confrontation is brewing. As Alanna and Lynn start openly sniping at each other, drowning out Logan's own soliloquy, things soon develop into a full blown catfight (and Sam as good as spills his popcorn in the excitement), the balcony collapsing and depositing both scrabbling girls onto the stage. It's something straight out of a John Hughes movie, perhaps, but it does the trick here!

Mr. Mead frantically gets the curtains down as Alanna and Lynn's catfight starts to trash the stage around them, panicked actors and bemused spectators clearing out of the auditorium as everything goes a bit Animal House. Sam, Charlie and Julie wade in to help as Gabe escapes to find Dominic, and behind the curtain Mead is busy berating Alanna and Lynn as Mark's mother swoops in, adding her own frustration to the row as she lays into both girls for ruining her little boy's big night. Outside, Gabe finally bumps into Dom (with Parker observing from a distance), but in true Gabe style he trips up and says he was looking for Parker instead. Dom sheepishly admits that he's out on a date with his mystery blonde (Tara, apparently), and as Gabe's heart breaks with the sound of a thousand sobbing emos, Tara appears in true 'oblivious to heartache all around her' style. Surprisingly, it's Parker who swoops in to rescue Gabe, and despite making a big show of how much Gabe owes him (even so far as a to have comic 'ugh! gay boys smell funny' moment), when he sees the state Gabe's in he can't help but feel bad for him. A furious Mead orders both girls to single-handedly clean the entire auditorium top to bottom, but once he leaves the comedy of the situation hits them both, and the girls erupt into laughter. Have to wave a Niggle Stick at that one - not sure they'd be giggling that quickly. Meanwhile, Anna has relented and let James in on the clinic plans, and things are all honey bunnies and rainbow candy between them both again. They're just getting frisky when Gabe and Parker return, and again there's a moment of laughter between two supposedly mortal enemies when asked how things went. Parker and Alanna share a lunch the next day, Alanna surprised to find that Parker showed up to watch, and it's clear he just scored a major brownie point as we leave them for now.

A fairly standard ep this time round, then, with the farcical moments of the play giving us a good central story to bounce everything else off. This is a pretty light-hearted story with only a few dramatic moments - James showing his angrier side and Dominic's revelation - and even if the final Act shared laughter between Alanna & Lynn and then Gabe & Parker feels a little sudden, it kind of works. So! Not much to say about this one, really. Fairly standalone for the most of part, pushing a few more plots along and providing a neat little comic interlude for the season. Lamkin's still the best writer in terms of witty dialogue, but there's some good stuff from Gentile here which shows that all of the show's staff are on the same page now in terms of episode quality, which can only be A Good Thing.